I’m often asked what it’s like to be a writer — how I spend my days, how I experience the world. And so I will be sharing occasional essays from the front lines of my writing life. Enjoy!
Inspired by friends, I have decided to start juicing. They claim all sorts of health benefits — better sleep and digestion, improvement to the hair, skin and nails. And what an energy boost! They can now leap tall buildings in a single bound. Yes, yes! I will give this a whirl (or should I say, a blend?).
They are using a $99 contraption called a Nutribullet — which really does look like a bullet. (Is it because the concoctions can kill you?) It just so happens that the Nutribullet is on sale at my supermarket, $10 bucks off. Is this providence? So I buy one and then buy strawberries, bananas, nectarines, grapes and apples (all of which I love) and spinach (which I hate). Yee-ha! My cells sing. Healthville here we come! Tomorrow.
Tomorrow comes early. I crawl out of bed and stumble to the kitchen. There the box sits and states: “The Nutribullet system is so easy … anyone can use it!” Sounds promising.
I turn the box and read that the gizmo has 12 pieces. Among them: a high-torque power base, extractor blade and milling blade. Hmmm…this bullet really can kill. I may lose a finger and bleed to death.
I open the box and yes, indeed, there are 12 pieces, which are to fit together in various configurations. I force myself to read the directions. Note: I’m not a directions kinda gal. I have no patience and never seem to grasp what I’m to do and in what order. Beside, my 12 pieces are scattered on my countertop and, well, I’m overwhelmed. I decide to wash each piece. Then, of course, each has to dry, which means that I have no time to juice. It is time to stumble into the shower. Work calls. Tomorrow.
Tomorrow comes early. I lay out my fruit and despised spinach. I am to put a handful of the spinach in the thingy and then add fruits and some nuts (for protein), twist on another thingy, flip this thingy upside-down and press down the other thingy, blend it all together, reverse the thingy process and guzzle.
Now, in all fairness, I must say that the Nutribullet works incredibly fast and well; true to its claim, it is a cinch to clean. Drinking my concoction proves more difficult . It looks like something dredged from a Superfund site. And the taste? Let’s just say it’s unique. Clearly, I’ve gotten the proportions wrong; perhaps I should add chocolate.
I tell myself that I will try again tomorrow. Or perhaps the day after tomorrow. If I don’t wake too late. I’m suddenly so very tired.